Falling Into Place
by kyootmunchkin
Summary: Literati. 5 of 5 Chapters.
1. Schizophrenia Begins

I was never lucky in love, or commitment for that matter. I never thought I could have one of those fairy-tale love lives, where I would   
meet Prince Charming and he would sweep me off my feet. And I didn't have that kind of love-life for that matter, but for the longest time I thought I   
did. When we first kissed, I felt these surges of electricity, from my lips to the tips of my toes. I thought, this is it, this is the one I'm meant to be   
with for the rest of my life. But when he professed his love to me, what startled me the most, and him too, was that I didn't return his love. I knew I   
did, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. So from there, we broke up. I was heartbroken, but then nearly two months later, we were back together.   
And happy to be together. But I must say, I always felt our relationship to be a bit monotonous. Tedious. Boring. Any other world with that related   
meaning is exactly how I felt.  
I stayed with him because it was predictable. He was predictable. He was always a bit jealous. Not a bit, but more along the lines of  
so jealous he would kill any guy who got within five feet of me. It was easier to stay together than to break up. That's what I thought. Until he   
came along. He was so different. He was like a breath of fresh air into our small town. It was just what we needed. A hoodlum. To tell you the   
truth I didn't think very much of him when he came. But at the end of the week, my thoughts had changed. He was a reader. Very un-Deanlike.   
He reads. He may not have been well brought up, but we shared something in common. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but he wasn't just  
a reader. He was a reader. He stole my book and wrote notes in it. Notes. Who writes notes in books? Other than me I mean. It was just so   
refreshing to have someone to talk to on such an intellectual level, once again very un-Deanlike.   
I don't know what to do. Should I break up with Dean to try something totally new? Or should I stick with boring, shoot me now,   
predictable Dean? It's not like he's a bad guy. He's great really, but he and I don't have very much in common other than enjoying kissing. He   
talks motorcycles, I talk books. We don't really connect on a deeper level. Maybe I'm reading too much into everything. I think mom's starting to   
rub off on me. I can't...commit. Maybe I don't want to commit. Maybe Dean isn't the person I'm supposed to commit to. Maybe I should shut up.   
I'm babbling. I'm going to stop, and think this all out rationally. Ok, ok.. how about a pros and cons list? Good? Yes, very good idea. Now my   
newest question to arise. When did I become such a great conversationalist with myself? Ok, ok, back on track.  
  
...  
  
  
...  
  
  
...  
  
  
Who ever said thinking rationally was the right way to see things? Maybe I should follow my heart. Did I just say that? Now I'm definitely   
turning into mom. With all of her cliche movie lines. Oh no...not good. Maybe I should just...not think about it. Ohmigoodness. What if he isn't   
even interested? I'm sitting here trying to decide whether or not I should break up with Dean and I don't even know if he wants to go out with me.   
Or likeme for that matter. Why do I want to go out with him? I'm not the type who enjoys making out with random people and going out with anyone   
of my heart's desire. Very unlike me. Oh my god. What the hell is happening to me? This is very NOT me. NOT me. I don't get it. It's not like   
we've kissed. it's not like we've ever really talked. I think we're only friends. Aren't we?   
  
When did everything get so confusing? I think...I think I'm just going to let it all play out. Yes, thats very smart. See how things turn out  
and THEN make a decision. Yes, yes, of course, what an easy decision.  
  
  
  
*Next Day*  
  
"Rory."  
  
I turned around swiftly. Knowing exactly who that voice belonged to.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What are you doing here? Where's your boyfriend?"  
  
"You know I have a life. We don't spend every waking moment together, as some seem to believe."  
  
"Interesting. Did you know he treats you like property? Like glass? Like you're going to break? Don't you guys do anything fun?"  
  
"Dean doesn't treat me like property. We're just very comfortable with each other. And how do you know all this. And OF COURSE we have fun."  
I think I was saying all of that to convince myself instead of Jess. Sometimes the cute ones can be so annoying.  
  
"Well, whatever you say. I'll see you around."  
  
And he left. Just like that. I need cooler exits. UGH! He is so aggravating. He gets on my nerves...but not in a bad way. Oh no. Here we go again.  
My whole conversation with myself. Didn't mom say that when you have conversations with yourself over boys that its a sign? What does mom  
know anyway? I think...I'm going to shut up now. 


	2. Walks and Talks

So let's recap. It's...let's see...1:37 in the morning on a Saturday night/Sunday morning and what am I doing? Thinking about Jess. When   
I have a perfectly good boyfriend to think about. This is really not good. The conversations are more frequent, as well as the Jess thoughts and...  
I'm going to take a walk. Right now. I threw on some dark jeans and a black. long sleeve polo shirt, and my favorite jacket and slipped outside.  
It's not like mom's awake and even if she was, she wouldn't mind. Mom's mom.  
  
It really was a beautiful night. The stars were out and the Stars Hollow Christmas lights were still left on. We were always lazy like that.   
It's just so pretty. I've never seen anything prettier. It was all lit up...like a movie. I walked by Doose's market and then I thought of Dean. Dean's   
great. He really is. So tell me why I continuously have to remind myself that. My feelings have never been so conflicted. Maybe its because   
Dean's my first love. I don't really want to think he'll be my first and last love. Dean's great, he really is. That's marvelous, Rory. Marvelous. Not   
only is Chilton teaching you big words, you still have to be reminded, by yourself, that you do love Dean you really do. It's not some mirage. It's   
really not. You care for him. You want him to be happy. You...  
  
I was so dazed with my thoughts, I didn't even notice the person I hit. I looked up to see who I hit so I could apologize and there he was. Is  
this torture? I mean really. It's very, very late out and here he is. Walking along the streets of Stars Hollow, when he should be sleeping. Okay,   
so should I but I have a very very good reason not to. Very good reason. Okay, this stage of denial. This is definitely not going to work for me. I   
think he's saying something to me.  
  
"...at one thirty in the morning?"  
  
"What? Sorry, I'm a little out of it. Oh I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a walk. What are you doing out here at one thirty in the morning?"  
  
"Same as you. Couldn't sleep."  
  
"Oh." Great vocabulary skills, Ror. Really, mom would be proud. Say something. Don't look stupid. "Come on, let's walk." Okay Rory, very   
good. Be firm, but kind. Just walk, you can do this. You're friends. You'll be just fine. Right? Right.  
  
I don't know how long we walked for, but we had the greatest conversation. We just talked about everything. Things happening in Stars  
Hollow. How Stars Hollow High was going. The whole Chilton ordeal. How big of a jerk Chuck Presby is. Music tastes. At one point, I asked   
him if he broke that fancy snowman's head and he answered...in his Jess, not direct but direct enough way, "Sure." Which usually means yes,   
and I'm guessing in Jess' case it means yes. I asked him why and he said it was because me and mom's snowman was cooler. More original.   
I said thanks. He just sort of shrugged. Not the best sort of attention from a guy, but from Jess I'll take it as a good sign. So we just kept walking  
and talking and the next thing I knew the sun was coming up. So he walked me home. A very sweet move for just a friend. I think I've been   
reading way too much into his "signals". Well anyway, he walked me home and we're on my doorstep and all of a sudden...his head sort of   
starts leaning into mine and mine sort of starts leaning into his and then we sort of kissed. Sort of. His lips sort of brushed mine and then we   
sort of pulled apart. And we sort of looked at each other for a moment or two, and then we sort of leaned in again and...do I sound guilty? I keep  
saying sort of, don't think I haven't noticed, and I think when someone's guilty, or feeling guilty, them seem to say sort of a lot. To make it sound  
more innocent than anything else. Yes. I'm guilty. Very guilty. But you don't understand what happened. Our lips brushed, and then we leaned  
in again, and then...we went into this...I'm embarrassed to say this, to say the least, full-blown makeout session on my porch. I mean, me and  
Dean haven't even kissed with such...need and passion. It was such an intense feeling. He was so sweet and careful about everything. His  
hands were everywhere in my hair and mine were rubbing his neck. He made sure to be gentle, but...so passionate. It was so...intense. That's  
the only word I have to describe it. We pulled away, gasping for breath. And I think that's when I knew...Dean wasn't the "exact guy for me"  
anymore.  
  
**Should this be the end? Or should this be the next to the last chapter? Your opinions/reviews matter so much to me and I would really love them  
right about now. You guys have been so great with the reviews! Thanks soooooo much! 


	3. Do Your Duty

She decided today was definitely day to do it. It was beyond the point of  
knowing. It was actually feeling. Rory could feel that this was the day when  
everything would finally change. And she was 80 percent...well 75-25 percent   
sure that she would be very happy with the results. What was that quote her   
mom would always say but never fulfill...Take a risk, it's better than living in a   
world of what ifs. Yes that was it. If only mom could see that her risk was stable,   
waiting for her, and was her sole coffee supplier and she definitely wasn't talking   
about the coffee maker in the kitchen although Lorelai would beg to differ.   
  
  
"Stop going off on tangents!" she said to herself. "Just do it! Like those stupid   
Nike commercials. Run through snow or something...do it!"  
  
  
Rory picked up the phone and dialed the number. 568, there was a pause.   
  
"Just do it Rory, or else he'll call to see Lord of the Rings again." As she   
mumbled to herself, this was harder than she thought. Her gut better be right.  
  
"Hello?" God, could his voice even sound floppy?  
  
"Hey Dean it's Rory. Can we meet at Luke's in an hour?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. Is anything up?"  
  
"Umm..." She began biting her lip. Should she just do it now? Get it over with?  
No, she should give him the benefit of the doubt? "Sort of. Just come ok?"  
  
"Um, ok." You could sense the nervousness beginning to build.  
  
"Ok, um, bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
  
One Hour Later, Luke's  
  
  
Rory was waiting rather impatiently. Come on, come on. Show up you  
little priss. Priss? Where did she ever learn that word? She probably picked it   
up from her mom...that usually happens. Show up you little prick! Come   
on...and the ranting continued for five minutes with Rory's head turning every   
time the doorbell jingled.   
  
  
"Hey, you seem tense." She could sense that voice anywhere. It gave her   
tingles all the way down to her toes.   
  
"Hey, I'm waiting for Dean."  
  
"Oh." You could see his face drop for just a second before nonchalantly asking   
"Well where is he? What are you guys going to do, suck face?"  
  
"Ugh, for your information...come here," and she grabbed his shirt collar closer   
and whispered in his ear "I'm going to break up with him so if you want to go out   
after just call me because I'm probably going back home ok?"   
  
Where did that come from? Well wherever it came she was thankful for it  
because she really wanted a repeat of last night.   
  
A bit startled by her outburst Jess answered indifferently, "Oh...ok."  
  
"Good." And she gave him a little smile before she noticed Dean in the window  
looking very nonplussed about the event he just witnessed.  
  
"What do you think you're doing Rory?!" Dean screamed at her as he barged into the diner feeling as though he had walked in on a very intimate moment.  
  
"Exactly what I planned on Dean. I think we should break up."  
  
"You what?! What is this about? What? Why?!"  
  
"This is why. You think any guy I am remotely friends with is after me. And I   
hate that! We have nothing in common. You get bored when I even look at   
books, and I get bored when you talk about your stupid motorcycle! You are   
overprotective and jealous and I can't stand such a constricting relationship!"  
  
  
"That's just fine Rory. But if you're dumping me for Jess you're taking the wrong  
road."  
  
"What I continue to do with my life is my business Dean. I hope we can still be   
friends but I'm not really sure how that would work, but maybe someday. I'll see   
you around Dean."  
  
And just like that she walked out. And her 75, no 80 percent chance of feeling good about today was right. Let's just see if her little hint to Jess worked... 


	4. Almost Wonderment

Maybe he really wasn't coming. It was a sudden outburst of heartfelt emotion. She left her heart on her sleeve, and the consequences were  
starting to build. Was it really too late? Maybe she was too forward. Maybe she could think of something better to do than watch the clock tick  
then tock, pause, then tick and tock again. She couldn't help it. She left herself out there, vulnerable to anything. Worst of all, vulnerable to him.  
It was the most likely the worst situation she could have gotten herself into. Being stuck in a closet with Paris for twenty-four hours seemed   
almost more bearable than this. Almost.  
  
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Maybe he should go. She did seem like she wanted him to. He shouldn't though, he couldn't. She was vuulnerable; too innocent for him, too   
anything for him. She was too enriching, too intelligent, too beautiful, too much. He was never this out of control, never felt like everything wasn't   
under his watchful eye. She made him want to feel. Feel these new rushes that were almost exciting, almost exhiliarting, almost...  
  
  
and he was so close to feeling...  
  
  
  
  
  
vulnerable. Like her. So close to feeling new, clean, open. People who wore their hearts on their sleeves left themselves open for too many  
things. Too much pain, too much emotion, too much of everything. Whatever wasn't checked would come back to kick him in his ass. She  
certainly wasn't checked, and was beyond expected. She was, no is, so exotic. She's like forbidden fruit. So close yet so far. There are always  
consequences and she's one of them. A consequence for possible currents of emotion. A consequence he almost wants. Almost...  
  
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Later That Night  
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It's really late. She should really be getting to sleep, but she couldn't. She figured he wasn't coming, now all she had to do was figure out why.   
She could have sworn he was interested. There was what happened that night. She can't even remember what day it was. It was just that night.  
No date, no time, and that was the way she liked it. It was obscure. Mysterious. Theirs, and she wouldn't want it any other way.   
  
What could have gone wrong? Maybe he was using her, very reminiscent of a past "bad boy"; but she swore that he was different. Who, Tristan   
or Jess? She wasn't sure, but that wasn't the matter at hand. It was why Jess hadn't come. She never did anything reproachful after that night, so  
why didn't he come?! This is ridiculous. Rory shouldn't be blaming herself. It was all his fault, she gave him the heads up about tonight and he  
didn't take the initiative like she did. It wasn't her fault, whatsoever. It was all his fault, all his fault and she didn't need trouble like that in her life.  
Definitely not, but she couldn't help but wonder where he could be, what he was doing, and whether he was thinking about her.  
  
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He was standing right outside of her window. It doesn't take a genius to know which window belonged to whom. He'd been the house a few   
times now and knew where to go. It had been ages since he'd been in her room. Ages meaning a few weeks, but a few weeks too long. She   
could probably care less about why or why he didn't come. He had been debating it all night, and when he finally decided no agreed with himself   
she was beyond worth it. She might make this town an ok place. Definitely not to live, but if she was here, it would be ok. He was sure of that.   
He left hours ago, but he was scrounging around this crappy town for a gift. An I'm-sorry-for-not-coming-earlier-please-love-me sort of gift. Not   
as needy as he wanted to sound, but it was an accurate depiction of what he wanted it to say. He knew she would love it because her   
innocence was predictable yet she was enthralling, and it was just something she would smile about. He wondered when Dean gave her that  
bracelet. He wondered if she'll compare them. He wondered when he became such a lovelorn idiot, asking himself questions and doubting his  
own actions. 


	5. Late Nights with Hidden Innuendos

There it was again. That odd, tapping sound. She was just imagining it, she was positive. Or maybe it really was a rapist or a stalker or a   
criminal or, don't be ridiculous Rory. There are none of those in Stars Hollow. Taylor would have written them a bad tax return of the sort to get   
them out of town quick. Ugh! It was aggravating her to say the least. Just get up and check the window out. She did, of course. To show herself  
and her active imagination that there was no one there, she was just tired, both mentally and physically. As she threw the covers off of her, she   
noticed how the moonlight lit up her crowded room with an eerie glow. Hah, it's almost like a movie, Rory thought to herself.  
  
As she drew nearer to her window, she was getting almost...jumpy. It wasn't a bad jumpy, but it was jumpy nonetheless. It was almost like   
something good was going to happen. She didn't even notice that she was standing in the middle of her room, freezing her butt off. She  
practically ran to the window. She opened it slowly, gingerly. Looking left, no one, looking to the right, nope. She knew it was just her wild  
imagination. She was so on edge today, it was only understandable.  
  
As she was about to close the window and figure popped up in front of her. She let out a small scream, then quickly covered her mouth. It was   
just him. Well, not just him but him.  
  
"What are you doing here? You scared me half to death!" she exclaimed at him in loud whispers.  
  
"I came by like you said. You never determined what time I should come." he answered coolly.  
  
"Well I was hoping it was before I was in my pajamas, but I guess I should have been more specific. Nevertheless, you should have known I   
meant before I was in bed. Why would you come so late? You could have called or said something at the diner. You are such a--"  
  
And she was cut off with a kiss. It was so sudden, Rory's eyes were open for most of it, mostly due to shock. It seems that both were   
unprepared for the consequences of that short kiss. There were surges of emotion and passion unleashed throughout both. They pulled away,   
neither gasping for breath, but both fairly silent. Jess, condemning his actions for acting on a whim, and Rory, reamed from the abrupt   
sweetness of it all, stood there staring at each other intently. Both seeming content just watching each other, trying to figure each other out.  
  
"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" Jess whispered into the silent night.  
  
"What?" she paused. "Oh sure. Come on in," she finished.  
  
He climbed in slowly, making sure to conceal his gift behind him. Rory, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice for she was too busy looking for  
her robe. She found it eventually, and when she did, she heard Lorelai dragging her feet along the hallway towards her room.  
  
"Ohmigosh, that's my mom! Get behind the bed, hurry!" Rory whispered urgently.  
  
Jess did as he was told and hurried behind the bed. He did as he was told, skillfully and quietly, that Rory knew he must have done this in his  
past. Another thing I have to learn about him, she noted to herself. As Lorelai entered the room, she noted that things seemed fairly normal.  
Window closed, nothing on the floor, just Rory in bed.  
  
"Rory, honey. Are you ok? I thought I heard you screaming." Lorelai asked, while shaking her daughter slightly.  
  
"Wh-what? Oh hi mom. It was a little nightmare, a world without 'Willy Wonka' and no coffee...I got a little startled." Rory answered.  
  
"No coffee! How horrible! A little nightmare? Sounds pretty humungous to me! You're sure that it wasn't some sort of premonition of the world to   
come?"  
  
"Yeah mom. Just a nightmare, I promise."  
  
"Phew, had me going there for a bit. Well get back to sleep, tomorrow's Saturday, at least you can sleep in. Night honey."  
  
"Night, Mom."  
  
And Rory returned to her covers. She heard further dragging of Lorelai's feet, a door creaking open then being shut. She waited a bit longer  
until she was sure Lorelai was asleep, and finally checked on the mysterious male below her bed.  
  
"Jess?" she asked attentively.  
  
"Yup. I didn't know you were such a good liar. Well, well, now that's a story for the papers. Rory Gilmore a LIAR, in big bold letters."  
  
"Oh shut up," she reproached. "So what are you doing here so late? You could have come tomorrow you know. Or called me."  
  
"I'm a night owl. The day holds too many witnesses to have Rory Gilmore seen with the town hoodlum."  
  
"Haha. You're not a hoodlum, just a troublemaker. A lot like James Dean in 'Rebel Without a Cause'; all aloof and out there, but really looking  
for the love and attention."  
  
"Well, well, aren't you little Miss Know-It-All."  
  
"I guess I am," Rory smiled to herself in the dark. "Do you wanna come up? I mean it's cold down there and my bed's pretty big. We can just sit  
and hang out and talk and...you know do whatever."  
  
"Hmm...do whatever. I like the sound of that. It seems open for interpretation. Let's see, do whatever. That could mean roaming around town,  
or it could mean discussing world issues, or it could mean me giving you my gift or it could mean a menagery of hidden innuendos. What was  
your exact meaning of 'do whatever'? I don't want you getting angry at me for interpreting anything incorrectly."   
  
"Wait. You got me a gift?" she said, in a surprised tone.  
  
"Here," and he placed the gift carefully into her hands.  
  
"You didn't have to. It's so unexpected. You really didn't have to."  
  
"Just open it, ok?"  
  
"Ok." She unwrapped the gift as delicately as possible and was stunned to silence at the beautiful object laying in her hands.  
  
"I can't believe it. You got me, I mean you bought, I mean you..." she gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. Leaving both teenagers yearning for  
more.  
  
"It's nothing. I was just walking down this street one day and I saw it and I thought you might like it, so I got it. It's really no big deal. I hope you  
like it." He said this rather bashfully.  
  
"Like it. Never. I love it. Thank you so much."   
  
"Now what exactly did you mean by 'do whatever'? It leaves all these hidden meanings."  
  
"Oh really. Like what?"  
  
"Like you and me making out on your bed, or it could mean us sleeping or it could mean us sitting and staring out your window or many other  
things that shouldn't be said to your virgin ears."  
  
He accented the last two words with a bit of sarcasm, and she felt as if a move was being played. Well, she thought, two could play this game.  
Unexpectedly, she pulled him close; so close she could taste his breath and she moved her mouth closer to his.  
  
  
  
  
Closer...  
  
  
  
  
  
Closer...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Both were dying due to the lack of touch between their bodies. Ever so suddenly, Rory touched her lips to his, and licked his lips before pulling  
her mouth close to his ear and breathing out, "I'll take choice number one, Pat."  
  
It took all of his control and stamina to keep his voice even and calm. "I can't seem to remember what that was...Vanna. Care to remind me?"  
He was teasing her and she knew it, unlike him she was prepared for the next move. She pulled away, slowly, as to make sure her lips lingered   
on his lips for the shortest amount of time. "I believe that was the one where we just hang out and talk."  
  
"Oh." Jess' face faltered for a second, before returning to its indifferent state. "Yeah, that was it." He could play this game just as well.  
  
"So Jess, I have to ask. Where'd you learn to walk around so quietly, like a cat. Been roaming around other girls rooms?" Rory hoped she was  
wrong. She knew he was more advanced in his sexuality than she was. She was just hoping she knew it and he knew it, and no one would  
ever have to voice it.  
  
"I used to sneak out of my...living arrangement a lot. I was just really unhappy there and I needed to get out. So I used to go to this high school  
a few blocks down and run laps. It was just a good way to relieve stress. Whenever I came back it was near dawn, and my mom is one of those  
really, really early birds, so I had to learn to sneak in really quietly so she wouldn't take my head for running off again."  
  
He had never told anyone this much about himself in his life. She was so different. She was so intrigued with everything and she had this look,  
not of awe but of wonder and curiousity, that just made him want to tell her everything about him and have her fall into his arms because she  
understood what it was that made him him.  
  
She felt special. She could tell that this was a lot out of Jess. Probably the most anyone had ever gotten out of him and she knew it. She didn't  
know why she was so honored with this information.  
  
"I want to know something so don't be evasive ok?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Why are you only nice to me?" She asked this carefully.  
  
"Because I like you." That was the last thing she expected him to say. It was a relief and she felt he should be informed as well.  
  
"I like you, too."  
  
With that the floodgate was opened, both of their qualms were supressed. It was only natural for them to stare at each other, and without warning  
their heads started moving slowly toward each other. Time seemed to slow as their lips were only centimeters apart. By now time had stopped  
altogether. They were so close, yet too far apart to their likings. He moved his head forward, and she followed suit. The kiss was beyond  
intense, beyond deep, beyond passionate, it was...sexual. The night ended in a less aboding manner and the nights to come would be unknown  
to all but the two kindred spirits.  
  
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